Hello Team,
We are devastated today to share the deaths of an AAPS student and an AAPS graduate, both tragically lost earlier this week to gun violence that occurred in our community. Two additional students were also wounded at the same time.
We appreciate the work of so many on our AAPS team who have engaged this week to support our students, staff and families. We will continue to work vigilantly in our AAPS schools as well as partner across our community to stand strong and take action against all influences that perpetuate such senseless violence and heartbreaking loss.
Let’s all reach out to support each other, our students, families and this Ann Arbor community during this very challenging time.
Take Care,
Jeanice
Dallas Maki Williams
Hello AAPS Team,
It is with great sadness that we share with you the death of Dallas Maki Williams, Pathways 10th grader, who passed away on Monday, June 26, 2023.
Dallas first enrolled with the Ann Arbor Public Schools as a 2nd grader and attended Burns Park Elementary, Tappan Middle School and Pathways High School. Dallas was very close to his family and is beloved by a host of family and friends.
We are all deeply saddened by the loss of Dallas. Please reach out and support each other. Remember that this hard news affects everyone differently. Sometimes it hits hard even for students, parents and staff who did not know Dallas personally.
We have included guidelines below to assist you as you have conversations with your child and with our students, parents and colleagues.
Let’s all reach out to support each other; we will need to remain vigilant for all those who may be struggling across our community just now.
I know that we all join together in the Ann Arbor Public Schools community today to extend our thoughts of loving support and deepest sympathy to the parents, family and friends, teachers and to all who knew and loved Dallas.
With Care,
Jeanice
Tyrese Burks
Hello AAPS Team,
It is with great sadness that we share with you the death of Tyrese “Ty” Burks, 2021 graduate of Pathways.
Tyrese first enrolled with the Ann Arbor Public Schools as a preschool student at Westerman Preschool and Family Center and attended A2STEAM, Pattengill, Tappan, Scarlett, Huron and Pathways High School.
Tyrese was a good-hearted young man and especially loved his family and friends. Tyrese was very spiritual and had a close relationship with his mother.
We are all deeply saddened by the loss of Tyrese. Please reach out and support each other. Remember that this hard news affects everyone differently. Sometimes it hits hard even for students, parents and staff who did not know Tyrese personally.
We have included guidelines below to assist you as you have conversations with your child and with our students, parents and colleagues.
Let’s all reach out to support each other; we will need to remain vigilant for all those who may be struggling across our community just now.
I know that we all join together in the Ann Arbor Public Schools community today to extend our thoughts of loving support and deepest sympathy to the parents, family and friends, teachers and to all who knew and loved Tyrese.
With Care,
Jeanice
HELPING YOUR CHILD COPE WITH TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES
Traumatic events “happen.” They may be large events that impact the whole country or the whole civilized world, or they may be events that affect an individual, a family, a neighborhood, or a community. Regardless of their scope, these events can have a powerful impact on anyone caught in their repercussions. As an analogy, one can experience the same effect standing next to a small explosion as they would standing further away from a large one.
As we all try to deal with and comprehend the uncertainties of current events, we must also keep in mind the impact they are having on our children and help them learn to deal with them as well. Young people often do not have enough life experience to keep things in perspective, and because of this, fear can become overwhelming.
The following are some common reactions you may see in children who are experiencing trauma. Reactions will vary with the age and developmental stage of the child or adolescent. Generally, older youth will have a need to talk about it and be reminded of the skills they have to deal with trauma. Younger children will need more reassurance that things are okay and to know to whom they should go for help.
The following are some developmental reactions and responses compiled by the Prevention and Community Response Unit of the Washtenaw Youth Public Health Department that parents and other adults could use to help their children come to terms with their feelings and emotions during a difficult time.
Common Reactions & Appropriate Responses from Adults
AGE 2 – 6 - Reaction
● Generalized fear.
● Cognitive confusion, e.g., not understanding that the danger is over.
● Helplessness, passivity, e.g. may become mute, withdrawn, and still.
● Anxious attachment to caregiver, e.g., clinging, not wanting to be away from caregiver, not wanting to sleep alone.
● Sleep disturbances; night terrors.
● Regressive reactions, e.g., toileting, dressing, speech.
● Engaging in reenactments and play about the event, sometimes with magical qualities/character of the event.
● Incomplete understanding of death, e.g., permanency of death, association with sleep, a desire to “fix up” the deceased.
● Difficulty identifying and expressing what is wrong, e.g., periodic sadness.
AGE 2-6 - Response
● Need rapid reassurance that they will be okay and taken care of.
● Reestablish familiar adult protection.
● Give repeated concrete clarification of what has happened and anticipate their concerns.
● Provide support, rest, comfort, food, and opportunities to play.
● Provide consistent caretaking, e.g., assurance of being picked up at school, keeping a regular meal schedule, bedtime and when caregivers will be home.
● Be as tolerant as possible of regressive behavior; it is temporary.
● Try to remove the association of what happened with specific triggers/reminders, e.g., playgrounds, cars.
● Explain the reality of death in age-appropriate terms when the child is open, e.g., a private moment or while reading.
AGE: 6 – 10 - Reaction
● Impaired concentration and learning difficulties affecting performance at school.
● Radical change in behavior, e.g., quiet child becomes active; active child, lethargic.
● Somatic complaints, such as headaches.
● Retelling the event with great detail and “savior” endings.
● Preoccupation with their behavior during or leading up to the event with feelings of guilt and responsibility.
● Specific fears triggered by reminders or while alone.
● Fear of being overwhelmed by their own feelings.
● Increased difficulty controlling their own behavior and feeling frightened by this lack of control.
AGE 6-10 - Response
● Allow enough “free” supervised time for play or expression through art, music, or dance.
● Encourage your child to let you or the teacher know that they may be having a hard time concentrating while at school.
● Try to be patient with any behavior changes.
● Reassure the child that s/he will be safe and that there are people around to help.
● Help your child associate emotional and physical sensations s/he may have had during the event and suggest ways of helping her/him feel better, e.g., changing the subject, doing something else.
● As with play, allow time to talk; acknowledge the normalcy of the reaction, what secret images s/he may have, and what specific reminders s/he may have.
● The supportive presence of adults will help the child not to be so overwhelmed and help remind her/him that feelings lead to actions s/he may not like or cannot control.
● Help her/him to establish a sense of control by doing something proactive, such as organizing a collection drive, making cards to send to those in need, or making red, white and blue ribbons for friends and classmates to wear.
AGE 10-14 - Reaction
● Become more childlike in attitude.
● Be very angry at the unfairness of the event.
● Manifest euphoria and excitement at survival.
● “See” symbolic meaning to things that led up to the event and assign symbolic reasons for survival.
● Suppress thoughts and feelings to avoid confronting the event.
● Be self-judgmental about their own behavior.
● Manifest psychosomatic illness.
AGE 10-14 - Response
● Try to respond to the emotions that are underlying the behavior and reinforce more mature behavior by including them in the resolution of problems.
● Encourage talking about the event in private moments. Discussions in front of others can lead to emotional reactions.
● Encourage supervised/supportive discussions about the event with peers if peers have been part of the event. Peers can inflame the reaction if not given some support and guidance.
● Provide realistic assessments of personal responsibility and “what could have been done”.
● Help keep things in perspective e.g. “These feelings will not last forever.” “You can shape your own future”.
● Help them establish a sense of control by allowing them to do something proactive such as organizing a collection drive (which the schools have done) or making and sending cards to the family.
AGE: Adolescent to Adult - Reaction
● Feel anger, shame, betrayal and act out these feelings in school or the community.
● May want to move into the adult world to get away from traumatic events and establish a sense of control over their world.
● Very judgmental about their behavior and that of others.
● Eating and sleeping disorders.
● May have an enhanced sense of immortality or an increased sense of hopelessness.
● Depressions
● Alcohol and drug use may become a problem.
● May engage in high-risk behavior.
● May have a fear of being labeled “abnormal”.
AGE: ADOLESCENT TO ADULT - Response
● Acting out may be a way of “pushing the event away”. Help them understand that might be what is going on.
● Encourage postponing major decisions in order to allow time for emotions to settle down and to grieve if necessary.
● Speak to emotions that are underlying the behavior. “This must be a very frustrating, angry time.”
● Help them understand the adult nature of what they are feeling, encourage peer understanding and support.
● Help them not to overact to the impact this may have on their lives; help them grow from it, not lost in it.
● Acknowledge the “depressed” feeling that may come, and that is survivable and normal.
● Acknowledge the anger they may be feeling and explain how it can contribute to their sense of being “out of control” and “wanting to do something”.
● Encourage them to do something proactive such as donating blood, if old enough, or volunteering to help at the Red Cross or other organizations.
For all ages:
● Give reassurances and hugs
● Assure them they and their families are safe (if this is the case)
● Limit their exposure to graphic details
● Let them talk and reassure them and solicit their ideas and feelings
Compiled by Michael B. Murphy, Washtenaw County Crisis Manager
____________________________________________________________________
